Damn, you are ANNOYING!
by Codry
Summary: What happens when Sakura is annoyed beyond her patience? Kakashi is about to find out. An amusing story  kakasaku / sakukaka
1. Fuck Sakura's ego

Chapter 1

Step 1: Fuck Sakura's ego

The well known team 7 was heaving its training session and of course, Naruto was screaming from the top of his lungs "I'll be the next Hokage … so don't underestimate me". On the other side is Sai … that is making presumptions about the size of a certain part of the body … male body. Poor little Naruto … and I'm not talking about his person … nooo.

Anyway, Scary Eyes Yamato is so absorbed by the two ninjas that he can't hear the snores of a certain sensei. You guessed that Yamato is on the training field to supervise The Nine Tail Fox and Naruto's dangerous feelings. On the other hand Hatake Kakashi is sound asleep with his book on his face as protection from the sun.

The fifth person, a pink haired girl is watching the fight wishing that at some point, al least one of the boys will acknowledge her … presence. But then again, she chose a boy-type-job. Yes, Sakura Haruno is waiting in vain for a miracle that will never come.

"I'm feeling stiffly" said Sakura changing the position of the branch she was on; a loud crack warned her to be more careful with Mother Nature. "Damn … my legs hurt" Another crack and Sakura was climbing higher in the tree. At the horizon Naruto was still fighting Sai. "They are just something else …" thought the girl. A strange feeling of jealousy aroused in the pink haired soul … she wanted to fight, to be noticed … to be powerful.

After another hour

"Ha … I win Sai … AGAIN" shouted the blonde. "I will be the next …"

"Hokage … something else … my ninja word … bla bla bla" said Sai with his usual blank stare … at least no more fake smiling.

"I'm surprised Sai" said Sakura "that after all this time you can't remember the exact words. I mean you heard them for at least … 1000 times"

"More"

"It doesn't help your intelligence, Sai … not that you have any" laughed Sakura

"Ugly …"

"Fuck you, Sai"

Kakashi, who was just waking up heard the last sentence, or the last swear and said eyeing Sakura

"Maybe that will help our team work … because form what I see, my training doesn't"

Sakura bit her tongue hard releasing from her mouth only a loud "S". Sai smirked and while their sensei was searching for his precious book, he showed her a _big thumb down_. I shouldn't add that she was about to explode and only the fact that Kakashi and Yamato were there, stopped her.

"You suck Sai … bad" mumbled the angry girl.

"I read in a book that men usually don't … suck"

Now Sakura was officially pissed off, very pissed off. Without a warning she grabbed Sai's neck and hissed with a voice unusual for her "You are a misogynic, uncommunicative, sexist asshole. And I promise you that if I hear another thing like that …. It will be my personal pleasure to snap your neck" and she squeezed the delicate skin between her fingers "in … two"

"Sakura"

She squeezed harder earning a whimper from the boy

"Sakura"

She felt she was losing it …

"Sakura … that is enough"

That voice … she heard that voice before … when she was a child … she remember; it was the voice of the authority … Kakashi-sensei's voice. She slowly let go.

"I think she's having her period" whispered Naruto. Yamato made a small sign with his head that meant he agreed.

Sakura was having a hard time, and their little jokes were not helping. "You know what" smiled Sakura turning around to face her team "I'm done"

"Sakura what's the problem … it's something wrong?" asked Yamato while he was trying to approach her. "If you are having you know what … you should tell us … I mean …"

Sakura was now laughing "You are all sexist pigs"

"Now Sakura, don't you think that you're crossing the line" said Kakashi with his baritone voice, kept hidden for situations like this. His eyes were searching for something, for an answer in her green orbs. The girl felt the authority, the pressure his voice was giving to her nerves; she was on edge and only that … sound, deep sound was keeping her steady.

Sakura's face was now red with anger and embarrassment, after all she had just received a speech from her sensei; a speech is longer but the consequence is the same … embarrassment and anger.

"I got to go" said Sakura approaching the tree line.

"Sakura …" again that voice … it was becoming annoying.

"What!" she snapped, turning around to face her teammates … and her sensei's black deep eyes "Why are you still insisting … it's not enough that you … fucked my ego in front of them" she said pointing at Naruto, Yamato and Sai "now you want, what … ?"

While Naruto was left with his mouth hanging open, Kakashi, who was after all the center of Sakura's anger, kept his calm and said "I want an explanation"

A loud noise, which could be identified as a laughter, emerged from the girls throat "You want an explanation? …. What are you to me … what have you done for me to make me owe you an explanation?"

"Sakura" said the man with a softer voice this time "I'm your sensei. I am just afraid; you are acting strange and unusual"

Sakura tried to find an excuse, to yell at him, but the only thing that came out was an "hmm". She was in no mood to argue with Kakashi or with any other teammate, so she left without answering for her strange behavior.


	2. Annoy the hell out of Sakura Part 1

Chapter 2

Step 2: Annoy the hell out of Sakura Part 1

For Sakura Haruno this was the first time she had a real fight with her team. Of course there were those collisions between Naruto and Sasuke, and, why not, even between Naruto and Sai, but she had never had this problem before. Now she was the one that started the fight and also the one that kept it alive.

"What the hell happened … I can't believe I told Kakashi-sensei that he fucked my ego … Why? He will never forgive me; and poor Yamato was just trying to be nice … and I told him he's a sexist pig." She got up from the chair and walked slowly toward the bathroom "I got to have a hot shower and a little sleep; maybe tomorrow will be better"

In the bathroom she found a bottle of liquid soap and a dry towel

"Hmm … this towel is quite short, but at least it's pink …. My favorite color" she thought while she was letting the water fill the tub; then she emptied the liquid soap in the same tub "I can't wait to sleep … I'm so fucking tired … and this day was a total mess"

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At the same time Sakura was having her bath, Kakashi was walking with Yamato side by side towards the first's apartment. The divinity was cruel enough to have his apartment near the wood user's small flat. Yamato was talking continuously about how Sakura has changed since she heard from Sasuke's mouth that he's not coming home and that he has no intention of being the _good guy_.

"I mean … I still can't understand why the hell she reacted like this. I never saw Sakura so mad before" he didn't wait for the Copy Nin's question "And, yes Sempai. I know Sakura for 2 years and a half … she has a hell of a temperament, but she never yelled at US before" his eyes searched for an answer in his companion posture, but Kakashi was still as a rock "Sempai?"

When the ninja made no sign Yamato repeated his question.

"Did you say something" came the lazy and usual reply.

"Yes, Sempai … I said that I can't understand why Sakura was yelling at US … as in the four of _us. _She usually screams and punches Naruto; when she's annoyed by Sai … the poor guy ends in hospital, but she never made me a sexist pig before"

"Me neither"

"So?"

Kakashi flipped the page "So … I'm suppose to answer that Yamato?"

"I gave you my theory … I want to hear yours. Since you are the perceptive one"

"Gee … I … don't know" flipping another page he added "I read that one"

Yamato smirked and said "Haven't you read them all?" After 3 more steps he had a revelation "I have an idea … Let's go see Sakura; only the two of us. I bet that because the other two will not be there she will tell us what's wrong"

"Do you know where Sakura lives? … I heard she has a new apartment"

"Yes" answered Yamato "Naruto told me she stays in that new building"

"New building?"

"Yeah … it is a complex … well it's just behind that bookstore"

Kakashi giggled and said "The PINK bookstore"

"Yeah … I believe you know where that is?"

The Copy Nin smirked behind the mask "I hope that was rhetorical Yamato"

"Yes Sempai, it was. After all, everyone knows where you go when you finish your usual reading material. And I must not add that your tastes in literature are…." and made with his right hand a sign that meant total disgust.

"My tastes in literature are?"

"You got the point Sempai … they are totally awful"

"Anyway" said Kakashi "let's visit Sakura, and while we are there … we can visit a certain store … I hope they have that new book"

Yamato laughed and said with his usual deep and scary voice "You are a classic"

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Meanwhile Sakura finished her bath and the pink small towel was wrapped around her small but rich muscled frame; on the other hand her strange colored hair was wet and since she had only one dry towel she decided that to have a wet hair is better than to be naked. Being in no condition (lazy) to walk to the drawer and find some decent clothes, Sakura was left with only one option: to sit in front of the TV (it was closer than the bedroom) and watch the news.

The fact that she had only a little piece of material to cover her modesty was no problem for the girl. After all who would come to see her this late in the afternoon? The answer is quite obvious.

"God …" said Sakura loudly "it's so good to relax. I haven't done that in a while". She stretch her legs and than she arched her back giving the guests, that were just entering through her open window, a beautiful and full view of her cleavage. "Damn … I want to do this more often … it's so fucking goooood …" and she yawned, opening her mouth to its limit. Only after she cleared her sight by arranging some rebelled strands of pink hair behind her ear, she saw the sensei-s giving her unique looks.

Yamato's mouth was hanging open, it was about to touch the ground, and his scary eyes were as big as onions.

On the other hand Kakashi's eyebrows were linked in the middle, a sign of anger. His one lone eye was searching for something; the problem was that he decided to search that something on her almost naked body. Sakura Haruno never felt this exposed. She was about to scream pervert at him when Yamato was kind enough to say:

"Sorry for the disturbance Sakura … we kind of … aaa … wanted to talk to you … about this morning … and … but … if we would have known … you were … hmm … busy …" and here he stopped unable to continue his proposition; his face was redder than a tomato (I hope it's possible) and he looked like he was about to explode.

Sakura stayed still, frightened that if she changed her current position her towel will lose his current position also; this was one of those things she learned form her friend and rival, Ino Yamanaka.

"_Never let your teammates see you naked"__ said Ino one night "I let them see me naked … when we were at hot springs and now they won't leave me alone. They are like those dogs in heat … or rabbits or … whatever; you got the point"_

Sakura was going to stick to that rule as long as she lived, but now she was suppose to answer Yamato … and hell was a witness that she had no idea how to do that.

"Well" she said "first of all … I don't want to talk with you when I'm almost naked; the reason is clear enough. And second I don't want to discuss what happened this morning …so now could you please get the fuck OUT!" she screamed emphasizing the f word.

Yamato stumbled on his two feat and only after he hit the top of the window with his forehead protector he exited the room, the same way he entered, without looking behind and without waiting for his partner, Kakashi.

Kakashi was in the same spot and when he didn't change his position for 1 minute, Sakura thought he was in shock, but after she saw his expression change from anger to laziness she snapped.

"Didn't you hear me the first time? You want a repeat."

Kakashi smiled and said with his usual deep voice, a voice that sent shivers down the girl's spine exactly into her belly. "I heard you the first time" he took a seat near Sakura, on the same couch, and opened nonchalantly his Icha Icha book "But I came here to discuss what happed this morning and I'm leaving only when I'll be … _satisfied_"

Again, Sakura shivered. Only he could make a simple statement sound so utterly perverse.

"Do you have any idea how … wrong it sounded"

"Hm? It did?"

"YES" said Sakura emphasizing every letter "it sounded like I'm a whore and you are my customer … and no I'm not a whore"

"That I could tell" and after he closed the book he added "even if that outfit tells a totally different story" a big smile could be seen under the mask "I mean you barely wear anything"

Sakura was about to jump at her sensei's throat, but realizing that if she moved an inch, her nakedness would be revealed to the world, she gave up. "Gee, sensei. I never thought that you would sink so low…"

This time she got Kakashi's attention, which was now turning around with the clear intention of studying the girl. When his body was perpendicular on hers, he said, with a softer voice this time "Sink so low … as … what?"

Sakura made a strange sign with her right hand, while her left was securely wrapped around her bust, keeping the towel in place "What I mean was that you come here, and … after I multiply ask you to LEAVE … you … tell me some pervert and vulgar thing and …can't keep your eyes off me. What the hell I'm suppose to understand from this … fucked up behavior of yours"

Kakashi's eye shown that he smiled beneath the cloth that covered his face "Sakura … If I knew that I gave this impression I would have changed my strategy immediately"

"Strategy?" asked the girl

"Yeah … I think I was too subtle."

"Subtle?" and this time a smirk made his way on Sakura's innocent face "You will be the master of subtlety when I'll grow wings and fly"

"You underestimate me, Sakura … and I'm not an opponent that … should be underestimated …"

"Because you are a ninja …" "_Ok_" she thought "_I can play along … it's getting funny_"

"Especially because I'm a ninja" said Kakashi this time his eyes resting on her bare and uncovered legs. Being a girl, Sakura felt his leer on her lower part of the body; she knew she possessed a beautiful, and why not, perfect pair of legs, but she never thought that even _her_ legs could get the Copy Nin's attention. Guess she was wrong.

"You know … sensei … my face is up here" and when he didn't change his object of attention, she repeated "up here … here … UP HERE …" at least now she was red … as that glowing kind of red "DAMN IT SENSEI … STOP LOOKING AT MY FUCKING LEGS WHEN I'M TALKIG TO YOU"

"Gee Sakura. You know what?"

"What!" she yelled loud enough to be heard by everybody.

"Why do you have to scream? I mean, I can hear. I have ears. It would have been easier for both of us if you had said that … screaming statement … with a softer voice"

Sakura was mesmerized; if somebody were to entered the room (god help him), he would have seen Kakashi Hatake smiling at his female student, while she was (except form the obvious barely dressed) looking at him with that typical blank face. The towel was forgotten, while her hands were hanging around her frame.

"You know what, Sensei?" she asked with a soft and carrying voice

"What?" he kept on smiling

"I'm going to scream …"

"… "

"…"

"Heh … how I'm suppose to answer?"

"I'M GONING TO KILL YOU … YOU ASS … YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO COME IN MY HOUSE AND AFTER I TELL YOU" and she changed the volume of her voice to a lower level "in a soft voice … to stop looking at my legs" she began to scream louder that before "YOU SAY THAT I'M SCREAMING … NOOO … I WAS NOT SCREAMING … BECAUSE NOW I'M SCREAM-ING … CAN YOU HEAR ME!"

When Kakashi made no sign of recognition she continued "OHHH … SO I'M NOT SCREAMING LOUD ENOUGH! Let's try again"

"No. Please … I heard you" said Kakashi with a dizzy look on his face

"Are you ok?" asked the girl … it was a rhetorical question.

"Yeah … I'm ok."

"You don't look ok to me." said Sakura with false concern in her voice.

"…"

The pink haired girl waved a hand in front of Kakashi's eyes "Sensei … are you in there?"

The Copy Nin's face was blank … "No… I'm in vacation … and I'm not coming back"

Sakura was now laughing on the expense of her poor sensei. At least he deserved that marathon of … screaming; now that she thought about it … maybe she exaggerated. After all she was quite sure she'll get a sore throat. "You're funny" she said smiling at him.

Kakashi regained a part of his hearing and only when he was sure he could speak without problems, he turned around facing his student. She was looking happy, happy in its basic sense. That full smile that lightens the eyes and makes the viewer lose his senses was now engraved on Sakura's face. "You know Sakura, you should smile more often. It makes you look … beautiful"

The girl blushed and avoided his gaze. After a while Sakura asked "So … why did you come?"

Kakashi tried to read her expression, but he felt that his last words raised a wall between them. How was that possible? Wasn't "beautiful" a compliment … or it was the fact that he told her she's beautiful. Or maybe she thought he made her ugly; as in, all the time she's ugly and only when she smiles she's beautiful … yeah it was a possibility. Finally he decided to answer "Well … the truth is that I came to ask you what happened this morning at the training grounds"

A long moment of silence …

"I don't want to discuss this." And she raised up from the couch, but Kakashi's hand stopped her. "Damn it, Kakashi. Let me go … NOW" but he made no move "I'll scream!"

"Louder than before?" asked the older man

"YES. Let me go!"

"It's even possible? I think you were close to 150 decibels … I think it's a new record. But this time it was directed at me, not at Naruto" and he chuckled silently.

"Don't" she tried to escape from his firm grip with no success. "Please …" this time her voice hiding a feeling of pain and sorrow. "I'm begging you. Leave me alone … I … please"

He squeezed her wrist "No"

"Do you want me to get on my knees?"

"No"

"Than what? I never thought you were the kind of man that asks for sexual favors." a deep feeling of disgust conquering her facial expression.

"I want you to talk to me. That's what I want … nothing more, noting less. So? I can stay like this all day."

"I can't!" snapped Sakura at him

"That's not my problem, Sakura"

"Let me go! Now"

"Nt" he clicked his teeth with his tongue sign of a negation.

"I can use chakra. I would like to see you in the hospital!" and a mental image was engraved in Sakura's brain bringing another smile on her face.

"Maybe you would, but I would like to see you explain why you have beaten to a bloody pulp your superior" …another smile.

"I would say that you were harassing me! After all you are harassing me"

"Me? … Nooo. I don't usually harass former students."

Sakura tried again to free herself, but in vain "Well, Sensei. Today is an exception, because you are harassing me."

_To be continued_


	3. Annoy the hell out of Sakura Part 2

Chapter 3

Step 2: Annoy the hell out of Sakura Part 2

Sakura tried again to free herself, but in vain "Well, Sensei. Today is an exception, because you are harassing me."

Kakashi's eye created the usual arch while answering "I'm not harassing you. If I were to harass you …" and he smirked.

"Kakashi-sensei, I don't care what would happen if you had harassed me, but I know that I'm half naked, I'm a girl, you're a guy … do the math" stated Sakura in a cool manner, or so she thought it was.

"I was not very good at math, or logic, but as far as my mathematical knowledge is concerned, I know that what you told me equals … sex"

Sakura was getting annoyed again and it was not a good thing, trust me. "It was an invitation, Sensei? Because I knew you were a pervert, but now I know you are an amoral, dirty, pervert, pedophile, old man"

"I think Sakura, that what you just told me was the longest enumeration of adjectives I ever heard; and let's not forget that you were entirely … right" than the Copy Nin scratched his chin trying to mime The Thinker from Hamangia (I'm not sure that's its name; in our language he's called _Ganditorul de la Hamangia _and in a mot a mot translation that's the name of the statue) "Wait a minute … I'm not a pedophile"

"At least you are honest" said smugly Sakura "Naruto tells me he's not an idiot for years … and he's lying" than she looked at the hand attached to her wrist "Now … that we covered that base, could you please let me go grab some clothes so we can discuss"

"Of course" answered Kakashi earning a relief moan from Sakura … that changed into a loud groan when he added "after I hear your explanation for what happened this morning"

"No" said Sakura

"Come on, Sakura … but I want you to take back that pedophile thing"

"No"

"Please"

"You suck"

"Am I suppose to give you the same explanation Sai gave you this morning about … sucking" he was playing with fire and he knew it, but despite that, he was enjoying every minute of it (in conclusion, Kakashi is a masochist)

Now Sakura was pissed off … bad "You know what, Hatake. I'm going to give you an explanation"

"Good. And you used my surname … I can understand that … this must be hard on you. I just want to know what's happening to you … I'm concerned … it's quite …"

But he was interrupted by Sakura's hard voice "Hatake?"

"Yes Sakura."

"Could you let me finish my sentence?"

"Sorry … please continue."

"I said that I'll give you my explanation, but my dear and precious Sensei …"

"_She's up to something"_ thought Kakashi while his hand tightened its grip around the girl's wrist

"You will not be able to see it … you'll be to busy"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, his face or at least part of face suggesting a total surprise; for the first time in his life Hatake Kakashi asked a predictable thing "Busy doing what?"

On Sakura's face a huge smile emerged making the older man groan "Busy taking my explanation form your butt; more precisely: out from your asshole … are you satisfied Hatake Kakashi?"

After a few second of shock he said "Yes … but after I took it form my … well … I could hear it. So I won; I get the explanation"

"And I get the show in which the great Kakashi The Sharingan is shoving his hand in his ass trying to get out my explanation … now should I sell tickets? I know I'll make a fortune"

"I still win Sakura … with or without audience"

"Not really, my stupid and pervert Sensei" said the girl emphasizing the two adjectives

"And why is that, my naive and brutal student?"

Sakura licked her lips, ready for a counterattack "Well … it would be a dirty … a very dirty explanation"

Kakashi made another philosophic pose, being careful not to lose his grip around the girl's wrist. After all, a loose Sakura was the same as a killer Sakura.

"I don't mind a dirty explanation. After all, you said yourself: I'm a dirty man"

Sakura made a strange noise from her throat "I don't mean that kind of dirty"

"Ah! Now I understand"

"You know what, Hatake!" said Sakura while grabbing with her captive hand Kakashi's opposite wrist "I'm going to ask you one more time to LET ME GO!"

The Copy Nin saw that if she wanted to throw him out through the window, she could do it only with a simple flick of her wrist; that was again dangerous for his vital organs, especially since after she was free, Sakura would be more than happy to come after him. Than he realized that his student was still half naked; it was the only advantage he had in this fight. He saw Sakura's elbow muscles flex and chakra running at a high speed toward her fingers. She was ready to strike … the worst part was that Kakashi was as ready as her.

When she thought her sensei was not paying attention, she gathered chakra in her arm, but at that precise moment she felt a cold hand on her back playing with her towel. To be more precise with the knot that kept the pink piece of material on her. Kakashi's nails untied the fold and the only thing that kept the towel in place was his palm.

Sakura tried to slip her free hand on her back in order to redo the knot, but her sensei's voice made her freeze.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you"

The young girl swallowed hard her own saliva.

"Sakura … be a good girl and don't try anything"

"Bastard" barked Sakura "You are going to pay for this. It's a promise"

The older man was amused by the situation. He even thought that it was a good thing that he didn't elope with Yamato when Sakura yelled at them. "My dear student, I don't think that you are in the position to make threats"

"That is such a cliché … my dear Sensei"

"Touché"

"Could we stop? It's getting annoying … annoying-er"

"I … don't understand. I told you I'm not leaving till you give me an explanation for this morning behavior"

"I'm talking" said Sakura stiff as a stick "about this _game_ we are playing. This cat and dog like-talking"

"Ahh. So this is annoying" the man grinned, or at least this was Sakura's impression. She could see the shape of his lips and also the fact that these were slightly parented, giving her a strange feeling in her gut.

"Yeah …"

Kakashi kept the grin on his face "If I remember correctly, you fully participated in this cat-and-dog-like-talking"

For Sakura Haruno this man was becoming more and more of a pest, jerk, ass, and so far and so on. "I participated and I'm still participating because you had me bounded" and she pointed, first at her left wrist, that was secured by Kakashi's right hand, and than at her back, where his left hand was keeping her towel in place.

"You make that sound like I … tied you or worse, I chained you"

She groaned. If he kept on suggesting things like that, he'll soon be on a hospital bed, or no … in the ICU, fighting for his life, remembering that it was a bad thing to annoy, or to harass Sakura Haruno. "You know what, Hatake?"

"Now I don't know, but I have a feeling I'm about to find out. Are you going to yell at me again '

_Please Sensei, please let me go!_' " and than he faked a sob; when Sakura stayed silent he was obliged to add "I'm about to find out" … nothing again "Uh … Sakura, are you in there? You just spaced out on me; that's not polite"

"Hatake!" barked Sakura.

"We are again on the first name base. Isn't just a pity … that from such good friends …"

For the first time, since their encounter, the girl began to laugh; it wasn't an evil laugh or even a chuckle … nooo … it was a primer laugh, full as the moon and loud as the sound of a waterfall, of water hitting water. At first, the Copy Nin thought that Sakura lost her mind, totally, but than he saw tears in her eyes. She was very amused by something and he had no idea of what.

"Umm … Sakura?" but she kept on laughing, with less energy, like she was too weak to do so. "Really! What's so funny? I wanna laugh too!" she was laughing harder, at the same intensity as before "O … k … You scary the shit out of me!"

After he waited for about 5 minutes, the pink haired girl suddenly stopped. It was an unexpected halt and than an unpleasant silence.

"What was so funny?" asked Kakashi, obviously disturbed by her temper outbursts.

She chuckled, making the older ninja fear of another sudden episode of guffawing "I think it's so fucking funny". Kakashi's expression was enough to foresee his quite obvious question. "If you wanna ask: What is so fucking funny? I'll spare you the necessity of doing so! I think it's funny that you have the guts … you know what?"

"What? Sakura, I don't understand you anymore!" said Kakashi on the verge of losing his control and slapping the girl until she came back with the living. First she was laughing and now she was making digressions … again the ninja made the proper assumption that she totally lost her good sense, and her mind.

"Did you?" asked Sakura looking directly at her companion.

"Did I … what?"

"Did you ever understand me?"

"Sakura …" his voice softer than before "Of course I …"

"Don't … please" she avoided his gaze, but kept on talking "Like I was telling you before … You have the guts, but than I realized it would be more proper to use another word."

"Sakura … I don't understand. Just tell me …"

"Ok" said the girl, making eye contact with him again "You have the … dick to come in here, and after you stare at my legs and make outrageous remarks and threaten me, here I'm talking about the towel, you have _that little thing left_ to call me ... your … _friend_"

Kakashi was thinking, a new thing for him, but the only thing that came in his mind was this "Did you just say that my dick is little"

Sakura was struck. She just told him he's a total disaster as a friend, and the only thing that he heard, was that his _thing_ was small. "Noo …" mumbled Sakura, more to herself than to others "You are a masterpiece" she blinked a couple of times "You … men … are a masterpiece" after she regained control of her voice she said in a steady tone, which coming from Sakura was a deadly tone "Get out!" when his position didn't change she said again, stronger and louder "Get Out or I swear to God I'm going to kill you!"

Kakashi played his last card, he hoped it was the good one, because it was his last chance "You know that … after I leave, you will be naked, right?"

It was a bad move. Sakura glared at him, and said once more "O.U.T … or … I … will make my personal mission to … kill you"

Kakashi realized that today, he couldn't get trough to her, so he rose from the cozy coach. Sakura was watching his moves like a hawk, her green eyes hiding a feeling of impatience. The Copy Nin knotted the towel, being careful not to undress his student, at least not more than she already was. With his free left hand, he dusted his clothes and only when he was sure he's clean enough, he let Sakura's wrist free from his grip.

His companion retook her seat on the sofa, pretending it was no one in the room; she slowly opened the TV. When The Copy Nin was in front of her window getting ready to exit, she looked at him; not because she was obliged, or because of some jutsu … nooo. She looked at him, while he climbed on the window frame than jumped on a branch, losing himself quickly between the leaves.

His chakra was faring away … making her regret her temper. She was again lonely … in a new home, even when you know you worked hard to obtain it, you just fell a space. Sakura Haruno was feeling the space left by her parents, by Ino, by … Sasuke.

Self esteem and all … down the drain.

After Kakashi left Sakura's residence, he entered in a bar and asked for a drink, preferably a biggg glass of vodka. He drank the liquid in two swallows

"Gee, man" said the barman "You are one tough customer. I never saw someone drink that stuff so fast" when the ninja made no sign of understanding, the man behind the counter asked out of curiosity "It's a woman, isn't it?"

Kakashi raised his eyes "Worse"

The barman puffed "What can be worse than a woman. Money isn't, I can give you that, and as for drugs alcohol and tobacco … nt … they suck"

"Well, my friend" said the Copy Nin, happy that at least someone wasn't jumping at his throat for calling him _friend _"Worse than a woman … is a teenager"

"Ohh. I understand … Your daughter"

Kakashi moaned, hitting his head against the bar.

"… or son" after he checked that his customer is alive he added "You know I hear many stories … one more will not hurt me"

"Do I seem so old?" asked the ninja

"Old … hmmm"

"How much would you give me? Now … honestly"

"Well … you have white hair"

"It's silver" barker Kakashi; everyone said he had white hair … Jiraya had white hair, God help him rest in peace … his hair was more like a light shade of gray.

"But … let me finish … you have no wrinkles. Even so, for a ninja it isn't strange to have no signs of aging even at 50 years. So obviously … you're not older than 50" the ninja slowly panted; of course he was not 50, or older "I can also guess that _silver_ is your natural hair color; so again you could be 20, you could be 50"

Kakashi was now playing with his drink "A rather large and inconclusive estimation; it's a difference of 30 years … just decide"

The barman began to do a pattern of circles around his temples; he was clearly disturbed by the fact that he couldn't guess the age of his customer. Usually, this wasn't such a bad thing, but since the man was a ninja, it was dangerous. He was thinking that maybe he'll remember his mistake and when he'll get the chance … dead … he'll be dead. After a pause, the man said:

"Even if you wear a mask … I can see you have a boyish chin, so you can't be that old, but … your eyes, err, eye … betray a certain kind of experience in life, so you're not that young either" When Kakashi said nothing, the man took that as a response to continue "I'm going to cut from both sides exactly 10 years; now … your age is between 30 and 40 … my guess is that you are 34"

Kakashi smiled "It's almost hot … but not too hot"

The barman finally decided "32?"

The Copy Nin rose from the chair and with a loud thud he made contact with the concrete. "You are good" he nonchalantly stuck his hands in his pockets; only after he was at the door the man that guessed his age asked:

"So … who was the teenager? You don't seem the type of guy that has a child at 18 … you don't seem the type of guy that has children at all"

Kakashi was about to laugh "Man" he said arching his back forward, miming a hiccup "You are good at reading people, aren't you?"

"It comes with the job … I told you I hear stories everyday!"

"Than I'll disappoint you"

The barman looked puzzled at him, his face hiding an element of surprise. The ninja just smirked and said while closing the front door behind him "This is a story you will not hear"

The next chapter will be, I hope, better than this.

Hmmm ….

Till next time … bye bye

I will not update soon …I hope that in the second half of the October. Now I'm in Canada and the only thing that I can think of is that … I hate French, especially the one spoke in Quebec. Till now I was unable to improve my English, but I'm getting there. I have another month of trying.

Byes … please review … and have a nice holiday :*:*


	4. Just make Sakura … swear

Chapter 4

Step 3: Just make Sakura … swear

Naruto Uzumaki was just eating, more like preparing to eat (thank God for the good food, think about Sakura twice, swear Sai at least a dozen times … and so on) a big plate of hot, steamy, juicy (be careful … I'm still talking about food) RAMEN, when someone knocked at his door. Of course he was annoyed beyond his limit, which in Naruto's case is lower than in other person's cases. The boy left his ramen untouched (Question: Wow … is that even possible … Answer: In reality … no, but this is a fan fiction) and proceeded toward the door slowly, watching with the corner of his eye the abandoned dish of delicious food. By opening the door, he made a final effort … and reached his limit; this was as far as he could get from a steamy plate of ramen. Sai was on the other side wearing on the face the usual fake smile.

"Bastard" muttered Naruto "I was enjoying my ramen and you totally ruined it"

"I read in a book that …" but Sai couldn't finish because Naruto impolitely cut him off.

"I don't care!" and he slammed the door in his friend's face.

Sai knocked again … Naruto opened the door again and told him

"If I hear another thing about what you were reading in your stupid books … I'll send you on Mars with this" he pointed at his fist "SO, What do you want?"

Sai was staring at his hand like it was a new found god, or worse … a big plate of ramen "You know man … you creep me out" the unusually white guy didn't answer, but angled his head, like he was studying the new object

"Enough!" yelled Naruto "I read in a book that when someone is staring at you …"

Sai rapidly raised his head and asked, as a conditional reflex, or more like the irony deeply engraved in the boy's genetic code "Do you know how to read?"

"Don't be a smart ass!" screamed the blonde ninja

"No … I'm just curious"

"Curious, my ass!"

Sai smirked, actually putting some feelings in the facial expression "For someone who's talking to a fellow guy … you use awfully lot the word _ass_"

Naruto gave up (two in a day … firs he lets his ramen uneaten, and now this! It's unreal) "Ok … I'll cut it short …" but he was unable to finish, because Sai asked looking a little puzzled

"It's even possible?"

When Naruto was about to answer, Sakura appeared behind Sai. She was wearing her usual ninja outfit, but her hair was tied at the back of her head in a ponytail. Naruto thought that she was looking incredibly sexy, but he said nothing, fearing a castration. He forgot for a moment the question Sai had just asked, but a pest … remains a pest.

"Stop ogling ugly and answer me"

"_The pest_" thought Naruto

"Answer what?" asked the girl looking from one to another

"Naruto said that he will cut it short" stated Sai careful not to forget any detail "And I asked if it's possible to cut it short … now that I think more what I really meant was: if it is possible to cut it shorter than it already is"

"What should be cut shorter?" asked a voice from behind that was owned by Yamato

"I can only guess" said his companion

"I don't understand!" screamed Naruto.

First Sai is interrupting his delicious meal; than he's making statements about short and cut shorter, and now the whole team is there (he didn't mind Sakura) looking strangely at him … what the hell was going on. The world was about to end or something?

Sai cleared the cloud from his teammates' brain when he said "Your don't have a dick, which is crystal clear with those pants on, so how are you suppose to cut something that is nonexistent" It was Sai's bad luck that Naruto took it personally, as he always did, and jumped on him, carrying punches and fists in his teammate's face.

There could be heard sounds coming from the battle, some of them reminding the passerby-s of another act … more pleasant.

When finally, the two boys stopped (not because they wanted to, but because Sakura stepped in, screaming and fuming all over the place), their sensei (Kakashi) briefed them about their new mission. It was a normal watch-over mission, nothing special. They were suppose to be bodyguards for a big movie star, but the problem, as they will find out later, was not the fact that he was a movie star … nooo

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At exactly 3 o'clock Team Kakashi was at the gates, ready for another mission, for a new adventure. The problem … you will see.

"Where the hell is Kakashi-sensei?" yelled Naruto making strange signs with his hands.

As you guessed, the number-one-in-laziness-ninja Hatale Kakashi was for the n-th time … LATE. His team, formed from Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki, Sai and Yamato, was waiting for him. At the beginning it was okay. Kakashi was never late for more than one hour, especially on a B mission or higher (and this was a B mission), but now it was 5 o clock, and 2 hours of waiting, and Kakahi's team was beyond annoyed.

"I don't know where is Sempai, but we were suppose to meet with out client 10 minutes ago and without out team leader we cannot do that" stated simply Yamato. Even if he was trying to hide it, he was upset by the fact that his favorite sempai was later than usual; it was easy to guess his feelings, because when he was in a distress his eyes were bigger and scarier than usual and he was making stripes on the floor (in this case on the ground).

Sakura was watching her sensei with the corner of her eye, studying his reactions and recognizing them from some other older situations. For example when Kakashi was late at Anko's wedding and of course when he was late at one of Tsunde's parties. The last one was a total disaster … it was a good thing Kakashi was fast on his toes or he would be six feet under talking with the corpse-eating-worms.

"We know that Kakashi-sensei is always late, but I must confess … this lateness takes the cake" this was Sai's opinion, shared with his companions in a sweet voice that was predicting a huge blown up … which coming from Sai was a sign of alarm and a signal for 'Run away … as far as you can'. "I have never waited so much for someone"

"Not even for Danzo?" joked Naruto (leave for Naruto to be amusing even when all his friends are annoyed beyond limit)

"No" said darkly Sai "Not even for Danzo!"

"Wow … That makes Kakashi an important person for you … well … kind of. You were not in love with Danzo, but he was your superior … wasn't he?" asked the blonde boy.

"Naruto … As you can see … I am angry. So please don't upset me more than I already am!" Sakura chuckled slightly, but Sai caught her "Why are you laughing, Ugly?"

Sakura smirked at the boy. She was more than ready to verbally attack Sai "I'm laughing Sai, because I can, because I want. Do you have a problem with that, Asshole?"

"I'm going to asshole you Sakura, until you can't recognize which is the face and which is the ass."

"Uuu … You should know that I have a gorgeous ass, so this change could be a benefic one" said Sakura while she was supporting her arm on a tree branch. Her right hand was scratching the opposite hip and her eyes were smirking along with her mouth. Even so, she was unlucky enough to be struck by Sai's answer and lose the smile that was flowering on her face.

"Yeah … I guess you are right. Even your ass, which, by the way, isn't as hot as you think, is better than your ugly, bitchy face!"

The pink haired teenager tried to stay still even if her right fist wasn't now scratching her hip …more like squeezing and destroying her hip bone "Asshole" said Sakura between her teeth "You would better shut up or you'll find your head in your ass."

"Guess you are so ugly that you're afraid I'll be more beautiful than you … even with my head in my ass" stated Sai as impartially as he could … even if he was keeping the amusement away from his lips, there could be seen the happy feeling in his eyes.

"You are … an ass … a total, full of shit ass" screamed the girl at Sai, charging her fist into the air.

Sai looked nonchalantly at her, studying her reactions, but making no sign that he understood the danger he was in. And as a bonus he added, "I may be an ass … but you are a total, full of shit bitchy whore"

For a first Sakura didn't charge at Sai, or screamed obscenities at him … just looked at him like she was looking at someone so below her level that even the simple act of looking was beyond vulgar. Than she turned her head around, finding something very interesting into a leaf that was just falling on the ground.

"Sakura?" asked shyly Yamato "Are you ok?"

Of course he remember their last encounter, but he was trying to forget that unpleasant event. Even so … he was 100% sure he wouldn't forget those legs as long as he lived. Maybe Sakura wasn't blessed, like Hinata, with a big pair of boobs, or like Ino, with large hips but surely she had the greatest pair of legs in all Fire … he could say that in the whole world, but he wasn't the one to exaggerate.

But now Sakura was acting strange, and it was his job as a sensei to know what was happening to her "Sakura? Are you still in there?"

"Yes … yes" answered the girl so fast that only after ten seconds Yamato realized that she actually said yes two times, not only one.

"What? Why have you said yes two times?"

"I answered your two questions" said Sakura robotically.

"Okay" added Yamao, still looking strangely at the girl. She was acting as unusual as it could get. Ok … rewind that. There is never such a thing as a limit to strangeness.

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After another 20 minutes

"Hello guys" said Kakashi "Sorry I'm late. I was helping this old lady get down from a tree …" when he saw his teammates murder looks he thought it would be a good thing to add "I kind of … mix them up" his team's reaction was unchanged "The excuses I mean"

"Kakashi-sensei!" screamed Naruto at his team leader "You are so fucking late that you even surpassed … yourself"

"And Naruto, you just surpassed your own dumbness" answered Kakashi as violently as the blonde boy "So …" he regained his usual lazy composure and his one-eye-smile "What mission are we doing today"

"You told us this morning Sempai all there was to know about the mission… and you told us to be here at 3 o clock and now it's half past 5. We were suppose to meet our client 30 minutes ago" Kakashi shifter from one leg to another and finally answered Yamato's statement.

"Ohh … Now I remember. That star is our client, isn't he?" He scratched he back of his head "I guess we kind of made him wait"

"So now that we know what the mission is, could we please go to the rendezvous point?" asked Sai looking from one sensei to the other in a rhythmic motion.

"Yeah!" screamed Naruto.

Sakura rolled her eyes at Naruto's antiques. She was more than used to the bickering formed between the boys and to the sudden changes in their opinions about the other one. But she was still upset by the things Sai told her, those insults splashed at her at a high speed.

"Ok. Let's go. What are we waiting for?" asked The Copy Nin. He was just trying to piss them of, at least more that they already were. Naruto yelled something, maybe it was a swear, maybe not … Sai shot him a look of pure hate and annoyance, Yamato frowned deeper then usual and Sakura … nothing; she had no reaction at all, like she didn't hear him at all. "What happened here?"

"What?" asked Naruto

"Sakura looks down …" stated Kakashi. Sakura pretended she didn't hear him, but Naruto smirked, more than ready to blame Sai, or at least make Sai look bad in front of their sensei.

"Sai was a jerk!"

"Again?" asked Kakashi

"Ugly started it" Sai was telling their friends his excuse without any emotion on his face.

"No she didn't!" screamed Naruto … defending his only female partner, and let's not forget his only crush. "He's lying" he added pointing at Sai and looking at Kakashi, both at the same time.

"Yes … she did …"

"No she didn't … you annoying, homosexual, unemotional freak"

"Yes, she did … you stupid, hyperactive, dickless idiot"

"I'm not stupid … you are the stupid one"

"I'm going to …"

"COULD YOU FUCKING STOP! MY HEAD WILL FUCKING EXPLODE IF YOU KEEP ON GOING ON!" screamed Sakura at the two boys.

Sai eyed the girl than turned around so he could face the source of his annoyance (this time it wasn't Naruto) "What the fuck is wrong with you! You act like a total bitch!"

It was a bad move because Sakura was in a very bad mood … and on top of that, Sai's way of putting things clearly on the table wasn't helping at all "Aren't I a bitch all the time!"

"Not such a bitch … and not all the time"

"Ohh … I see now. They are different kinds and grades of bitch-ness" said the girl, smirked at nothing in particular. Sai was really about to see a side of Sakura that nobody liked to see; and he was about to see her form the front row … maybe from the stage "If you really want me to be a bitch, I'll be, don't worry."

"I thought you are a bitch all the time" stated calmly Sai, as calmly as he could in the state of super, hyper annoyance he was in.

"I guess I wasn't specific enough. I'm going to raise the grade of bitch-ness to the maximum level … and I'm not going to make the change gradually … you would like that, wouldn't you … I'm going to become the queen of the bitches." After she dusted her clothing and took a slip from her water bottle she added, "That was refreshing, don't you think?" she turned around looking at Yamato straight in the eye.

The older man swallowed, but answered her question with a small bow of the head, not trusting his voice enough. Naruto was growing roots in the spot Sakura's outburst caught him and Kakashi … looked struck by a lightening, a lightening he couldn't break in half with his famous Chidori (I don't know if there are any Y).

"And Sai …" said Sakura, not waiting for the white's boy answer "As an advice from a … what the hell I'm to you … fuck yourself, maybe you'll have more muscles on your hands"

Now … Sakura could say that she shocked for life: the Kyuubi Naruto Uzumaki, the only ink user in Konoha, Sai, the only wood user in the world, Yamato, and the famous Copy Ninja Hatake Kakashi. Sakura Haruto could now die, because she scared to death the male part from the well-known Team 7.

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"Hello" said in a happy voice a tall man, with a shiny light yellow hair and honey like eyes. He looked like a model, beautiful, but no brain, or so they thought. "My name is George Ubico … and I guess I'm your client". Now he was smirking at them, showing his clean, white, perfect shaped teeth. He had that kind of smile that you show when you take a picture, forced, ugly and false.

"Hello" responded Kakashi. It was his job as the team leader to greet their client and brief him about the mission details and at what extent they were suppose to guard him (the difference between C, B and A missions) "I'm Hatake Kakashi, the team leader. He's Yamato" he said pointing at the man "He's the captain of the team" the man meowed, or this was the first impression "… aaa … and they are my students: Sai, Sakura and Naruto" he nominated all of them with the tip of his gloved finger. He left Naruto the last on purpose, so he could mock him later when they would be alone, or …

"Why did you leave me the last! I'm the main character here!" screamed the blonde … he was making a scene again, with their client present. This was not a good introduction for the young movie star, but to Kakashi's surprise their protégé was smiling with his mouth from side to side like he was watching two children play … maybe it was still a chance for retribution or …

"Shut up, small dick" said quickly Sai

… Or … not

"Who do you make small dick? … You homosexual freak!"

"Obviously YOU"

"WHAT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU ASSHOLE!"

"And I didn't make you a small dick … you are a small dick from the day you were born"

"Now you are officially dead!"

…. This was not helping them … at all

Kakashi made a step forward and caught Naruto around the shoulders, forcing him backwards and as far away from Sai as possible. These two were just too dangerous to be kept in the same place; they were like the magnets of the same type: total rejection when they are close.

"Let me go! LET ME GO! Grrr …" growled Naruto at Sai, that was faring away.

"Stop it, Naruto", said calmly Kakashi, but when this strategy failed he just jerked the boy around and added as calm as before but with more force and with a hint of warning in his voice "I said … stop it, Naruto. We are on mission. Act like an adult for once and shut up."

"But Sai was a …"

"Just shut up!" raised the tone Kakashi strong enough to silence the most talkative human been on earth. "And you …" he pointed at Sai "… are just as bad as him!" when Sai rolled his eyes, the older man continued "Stop with this mocking or I'll drop you off from the mission … I promise you."

First Sakura, now Kakashi … world was going down.

"Don't worry" smiled George at his protectors "I know I ordered the best ninja. It's not necessary to exercise your power in front of me Kakashi-san"

"It is necessary … and I'm not doing it for show"

"Ok" agreed slowly the movie star, still unsure.

"Ok. Now that we solved that, we should add that the mission involves protecting you from robbers, dangerous animals and ninjas until you arrive in Thomiy, a city from Mist. We will accompany you in Mist, but our job ends when you are safe in your home, guarded by other ninjas"

George looked straight in Kakashi's eyes during his speech and after he finished, the man waited a couple of seconds until he was sure it was the end, and said with a normal voice, like he was expressing an opinion ('Tomorrow will rain') "Wow … You are hot"

… (Sakura)

… (Yamato)

… (Naurto)

… (Sai)

… (Kakashi)

"What?" asked George "Did I say something wrong?"

…

"You just told us that Kakshi-sensei is hot" this was Naruto, the only one capable to form a phrase at that precise embarrassing moment.

"Yes" it was the simplest thing in the world "And?"

"You are a guy" again Naruto and his logic will crumble all the walls "Kakashi-sensei is a guy" that was quite obvious "You just said that he is hot" … "That means you are gay?"

Their companion smiled, a fake one again and agreed with a simple bow of his head. "Kind of…"

While Naruto, Yamato and Kakashi strained under the pressure of the new information, Sakura sighted in relief. It was a good thing she wasn't suppose to fear their client, and she was protected from the usual harassment she received on some missions. Especially those dirty old men that thought they were still in their prime and capable of handling a spunky teenage girl. Life was good when she was traveling with a gay man … the girl smiled and said between short burst of laughter.

"I'm saved"

"Not really" smirked their blonde client earning five questioning glares. Sakura turned around facing George and asking him though suggestive looks what he meant, "I run both ways"

Only one word could escape Sakura's mouth

"_Fuck"_

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Well … I said I'll update at the half of October, but since I didn't begin university yet I thought it would be a better thing to write now when I have time.

… I'm still in Canada and still afraid to speak English … I know, just great. And the problem is that people here speak very fast and I'm used to that British English … slow rhythm, profound accent … you know.

Anyway I must confess that at this point I have no idea what to write next … I kept a surprise up my sleeve about this George, but that's all … about the narrative … no idea. And the big problem is the title …

Bye, bye. Review if you have the time … and please if you find a mistake, in spelling, in context, in phrasing tell me, but don't come … and tell me that I suck at everything. I was about to give up writing because a … I don't how to call him/her … came and anonymously reviewed with a strange name … something Cowell. I shouldn't add what he told me. Anyway the only thing that kept me going on were the reviews I received 'till that point and the thought that 'the ones that said my story is good weren't all crazy'


	5. Just make Sakura … swear again

This chapter would have been different if someone named IshtarAli hadn't helped me with some ideas … the only thing that I did was to replace the word _or_ with _and_. And let's not forget the review from Emjan-chan that came just in time to strengthen the main plot of this chapter.

Enjoy … I enjoyed writing it.

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Chapter 5

Step 4: Just make Sakura … swear again

Sakura Haruno always felt that deep down she was calm, and calculated; not the type of person that hits the wall with the head and than discovers that it really was a wall there. Naruto was the one that did those things. He was the black sheep from team7, or so she thought. First Sasuke was entitled with this high reward, because he betrayed Konoha and joined Orocimaru, one of the worst enemies Konoha ever encountered. After everybody decided that Sasuke was not, and will never be a part of team 7, the distinguished titled was passed to none other than the new teammate Sai … but at some point, Sakura was unlucky enough to not be present, Sai became so powerful that even Naruto had problems in defeating him. So … no … he was disowned. Sakura was a valid candidate because she was the weakest, but she was the medic … she was saving lives, and in her way she was a hero too.

You can guess that after a long time of debriefing, Konoha population agreed that Kakashi was the one that read porn in public and was late for everything, so in conclusion he was the black sheep. Problem solved.

Now … coming back to the story … where was I … hmm … oh! Yeah …

Sakura was calm, but being stuck with a bisexual guy can change your mentality from the roots and on long term it can affect your way of living especially because this bisexual freak is …

"uuuu … it's so cute. Look at this cutie little kitty cat Sakura-chan" the actor sniffed smelling the aroma emanated by the feline "It smells like … " he smirked proud of his white, shiny teeth "you"

… … so fucking annoying

"I bet her poop smells like your eau de toilette …" she was rewarded with a chuckle " … and your perfume is a sweet essence of her purified pee"

Even with all the sarcasm Sakura could master, the man was absolutely … unbelievably stupid. While Sakura was trying to find another ironic thing to say, George took the offensive.

"You know it's not a she … it's a he. A tomcat" and he turned the cat in order to demonstrate with conclusive facts that the cat in discussion is a male … he was right. A stick (more like a crane) was coming out of the skin proving that … it was a tomcat. "See" he smiled waving the cat (in fact the lower part of the animal) in front of Sakura's face.

"Stop shoving this … thing … in … my … face" the pauses were because she was trying not to touch with her inner lip the … thing "Damn it! STOP!"

"It's not a thing. Where is the respect young girls had for the most important part of the male body" Sakura was really trying not to snap that little and feeble neck in two … concentrate … don't kill him, don't … "When I was young a girl would have been more than happy to see …"

"A cat's dick?" asked Sakura. I mustn't add that her teammates were laughing in the background at her misfortune. At least they weren't the actor's obsession; Sakura was unfortunate enough to be.

"Yes" he said smiling.

"I do not find anything interesting in a cat's dick … I'm not a zoophiles"

"Me neither"

"You could have fooled me!" snapped the pink haired girl.

"At least he has a dick." grinned Sai at his blonde friend, even if this friend was clueless enough to not even understand his hint. Naruto is just soooo stupid sometimes.

"You hurt me Sakura-chan … deeply"

"No chan with me. I'm not your … friend"

George gave a sweet pout that could have melted a snowman, but not Sakura "Uuuu … Sakura-chan … you are so mean to me. And if I were a zoophiles I would have told you from the start that I run 3 ways, but I said I run both ways … see the difference" Sakura's middle fingers flipped upward showing her interlocutor just how much she loved him and also answering his question "If you show that vulgar sign again I'm going to tell your sensei how bad you've been to me"

The girl just ignored him, but when she felt his hands on her upper arms, and his lips attached to her ear, she stopped prepared to punch him; client or not he was harassing her …it was self defense. She was not in real danger, but … who would know. However George's words made her withhold the punch she was ready to throw "And your sensei will punish you" the soft purr continued to whisper in her ear, and Sakura was dead to the world "He'll make you regret that you were such a bad girl" his lips almost swallowed her earlobe "He will spank you" his tongue was now scanning the inner walls of her ear-hole "He will make you scream like you never screamed before" Sakura gulped still being unable to realize what was happening and what was the actor doing with her body "He will fuck you …"

Sakura snapped. Faster than an Uciha, she jerked from George's hands, turned around and slapped him hard enough to make his head spin 90 degrees. While he was recovering from the initial shock another hand came and left a red mark on his other cheek.

"You are so disgusting" said Sakura keeping her teeth clenched and her lips slightly opened, so the man could see the repugnance he was inflicting on her.

The boys were just shocked, because from where they were standing the only thing that happed was that, their client got suddenly awfully close to Sakura. Naruto was unable to understand what happened and Kakashi hoped that the pink haired girl had a good reason for slapping the source of their finance. Sai was the only one that looked at the entire scene detached, and he was also the only one that asked the fatal question.

"Ugly … Why do you have saliva in your ear?"

… …

… …

Even if Naruto was usually slower at catching the underneath of the things that happened around him and the allusions that referred to his … dick, this time he was the first one that understood what happened. This time one plus one was two … and of course he charged without thinking

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU! AAAAAAAAA"

Kakashi was fast enough and caught Naruto's right hand, shoving him back against the wall. For the Copy Nin, this was more of a reflex than a conscious act, even if deep inside he would have liked to strangle that bisexual actor and watch him choke with his own saliva … or with the irreplaceable help of his hands.

Naruto shifted in his sensei's iron grip, trying and trying to free his captive hand, in vain of course. Kakashi was too strong for the brutal strength possessed by the blonde boy.

"Let me go! I'll make him pay for touching Sakura!" his hand twitched.

Yamato, surprisingly, didn't try to stop the angry boy from destroying their client. On the other hand, Sai was just enjoying the free show and the good food … wait a second … what food; I wasn't talking about any food.

Anyway, in the mean time, George was massaging his livid cheeks; two palms could be seen on each cheek and a tiny stream of blood was flowing over his lips and down on the ground. After he finished, Kakashi was the first one to speak.

"I'm sorry for this … in the name of my team" the actor smiled, but couldn't see The Copy Nin's tight fist and clanked jaw; he just heard his calm and lazy voice.

"No problem. I must confess you take this better than your teammates" and he pointed at each in particular "She looks like she's about to snap my neck in two" his index finger was now turned to Sakura … I mustn't add that she was fuming all over the place "He clearly wants to scalp me … scaryyyyy" this was Naruto, still hanging against the wall, where Kakashi's hand kept him in place "He is … uuu … such creepy eyes" the only one that can make you jump out of your skin … Yamato "And he … he just isn't sure what happened. I am astounded … you surely are incredibly hot"

… …

At least this time Kakashi was prepared. Who was he fooling with child stories? Even if he heard that statement 100 times a day … he would react the same … one word: dumbfounded. By the faces did by his teammates, they were thinking the exact same thing. Kakashi bit his tongue, hard enough to keep him quite, and he hoped, in vain, that the others will do the same … what can I say … he's an optimist. Hope dies last.

"So you have the audacity to tell … him" the speaker was now referring to Kakashi, due to the position her finger took "he's hot, after you stuck your tongue in my ear" Sakura was again angry and very … very … very … ok, I'm finished … pissed off. "You are something if you have such a nerve. Bastard!"

"Are you jealous because I told him, he's attractive and I didn't tell you" the girl looked shocked for a moment, because she was deciding if the man was just playing dumb, or he was in fact … dumb "Well … If you want to hear my opinion about your physic I'll tell you. I'm not afraid to express my opinion in public. Nooo missy"

"Ohhh!" cried out Sai "That's way you had saliva in your ear"

… …

crickets chirping

… …

"Aren't you a genius …" replied dryly Naruto.

Sakura shook her head, still hoping that the actor was the dumb one, but life is full of surprises. Even Naruto caught on quickly.

"…. Anyway" continued George what he was saying before he was so impolitely stopped by Sai "You are ok … small tits, but who needs breasts when you have those great, long, yummy legs and that round, gorgeous ass. That's why it was invented the 'doggy stile'. When a woman has an ugly face is simpler to take her from behind … " he smirked "… don't you agree?" he was asking Sakura this question, so now his lifespan was shortened with at least a decade … or two … three?

Sai raised his head, with a face that inspired danger. His eyes were goggled and his teeth were biting his lower lip. Even Sakura forgot the explication her '_best friend_' just gave; an angry Sai was a bigger threat than some words thrown in the wind. Finally Sai was able to articulate:

"What was your tongue doing in Sakura's ear?"

… … …

… jaws on the ground boys and girls …

… … …

"It's some kind of ritual?" continued Sai, clearly interested in finding more about this tongue-sticking thing "Or it's another type of relaxation your people use … I heard about yoga, feng shui and others, but this is new."

Ubico, the actor was in shock, as all team 7 … except Sai. They were all watching the boy in awe unable to understand how such a genius could be so fucking clueless.

"Hey!" snapped Sakura at the well-known star "Did you just say I'm ugly?"

George smiled shyly, hiding the guilt under a big layer of fakeness "Well … no. How could I say such an obvious … aaa "the girl's eyes were larger and larger, foretelling a breakdown"… bad thing about you Sakura-chan"

"Did you …" but she was interrupted by Sai unemotional voice; a good thing in that moment of chaos.

"I get it" everyone turned around facing him, listening to whatever pearl he was about to say; even the _radioactive_ Sakura was curious enough to postpone her discussion for later "I know why you licked Sakura in the ear"

"It was the time!" exclaimed Naruto

Sai shot a rapid glare at his partner and continued, "I don't know if it's hygienic, but I guess it's a good way to clean someone's ear"

….

I don't have to say anything; you can imagine for yourselves the faces displayed on team 7's faces.

"I don't know if the wax is healthy … I never tried it" again Sai was about to give another heart attack to his team.

'_He__'__s such a … pain_' thought Sakura curling her fingers in a cat claw. She was not in the mood to listen to Sai's antisocial thinking and her client's pervert opinions. No! Her patience had an end, and now she reached her limit; and when Sakura Haruno was so beyond any hope of recovery she …

"YOU STUPID ASS!"

… screamed …

"HE WAS NOT CLENING MY EAR!"

… and …

"HE WAS FUCKING MY EAR … YOU IMBECILE!"

… swore …

"HOW WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT HE WAS DIGESTING MY WAX? And you!" she was now looking at George.

… again …

"You FUCKED UP BASTARD. If you really want to FUCK SOMEBODY FROM BEHIND … GO AND FUCK YOUR MOTHER! But don't come to me after that, complaining that MY UGLY FACE is better than ONE FUCK WITH HER …"

Sakura's breathing was now coming out in short bursts of powerful exhales, due to the inhumanly kind of yelling and swearing. Her mood didn't change, even if she was now calmer and a part of the anger experienced before was now slowly disappearing.

On the other hand, her teammates were not as shocked as before; after all Sakura made a new record (her second one) in saying vulgar things per day. In this day especially the count was at 30 and raising. Their favorite actor wasn't impressed by the girl's outburst; he encountered this blown-up behavior at many actresses, when they reached the edge.

"I think I slept with her once … or twice. She was quite ok. But she's my mom, so she is by definition a goodness in bed" of course George was incapable to just shut up. Another similarity between him and Sai. God help Sai if he wants to become an actor … and god help us, if we want to watch a movie in the near future.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" and after that realizing what she said, the pink girl added "literally"

Kakashi saw this as an opportunity to make them move, so the mission could be completed before the time limit. And as a bonus their actor could disappear from their lives faster and smoother.

"Enough with the talk. We are suppose to get to the nearest city till the night falls and we are only half way there. We should hurry" and this was the only thing said to his team before he turned his back and proceeded in faring away. Somewhere in the chaos created by Sakura and George, Kakashi let go of Naruto's hand and studied the sky in order to see what time it was.

Yamato smirked and mumbled "Quite ingenious, Sempai" even if nobody heard him except The Copy Nin.

In the mean time, George just stated his opinion "He's still hot."

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"We finally arrived" said a tired movie star. His ankles were looking quite sore and his white face reminded of a corpse, a moving corpse (a zombie).

"I bet he doesn't think Kakashi-sensei is so hot now" Naruto smiled at his friends, and his good disposition flowered even more when he saw behind his sensei's mask a big smile; even if this one didn't reach his eyes, in order to keep their protégé happy.

On the opposite side, George shot a look of pure hatred at the boy, but thought that another verbal attack will do no good to his already shaky appearance. He knew from his own experience, not to fuck with a ninja, even if sometimes he forgot that lesson; the pink haired fighter was too tasty to refuse … and let's not forget too freaking hot.

"So where are we sleeping?" asked Sai, looking from right to left scanning the motels and hotels in sight "Or we are doing what we usually do?" that meant sleeping on the grass, under the trees, with the sky as their shelter.

Everyone was now watching Kakashi, which was now stargazing, taking his time in studying every part of galaxy and every strange light that appeared on the blue cover.

"So?" asked impatiently Sakura "What are we doing Kakashi-sensei?" when she got no answer, her temper kicked in "You know, we all are standing here waiting for your fucking answer"

…. '_31_'…

"And we are so tired that we can't even see straight, or at least that's me"

Kakashi didn't move an inch just bothered with responding as ironical as it could get "Maybe you shouldn't scream and swear so much. As I can see it can have side effect, like tiredness"

"Ouch" George's high-pinched voice penetrated the air.

Yamato's face turned white and sweat drops fell on his face like a river with no beginning and no end. He knew how dangerous Sakura was when her anger was rising above the sea-level, but something else was disturbing or better said, somebody else was disturbing. Kakashi. He was ironic … with Naruto, or sometimes, when the time was right, with Sai, but never and never with Sakura. It was like an unwritten law that you have to learn, that you have to respect, because if you don't … hell will break down.

"What did you say, Hatake?"

… And hell was unleashing just under his eyes …

"I say what I want. Do you have a problem with that, Haruno?" now Kakashi was the stubborn one.

Naruto, who was eating some biscuits, suddenly stopped and straightened his pose, being very aware of the negative energy that was floating in the air. His gut, that was usually right, told him that something bad was going to happen- and the first name basis was another bad sign.

"Yes. I have a problem with that." Snapped Sakura angrily at her sensei – which didn't give a shit about anything she said- "When you can clearly see that we are tired, and the only thing that crosses your mind is to make fun at my expense … well then it's my problem"

Even Kakashi was smart enough to see the logic behind Sakura's statement, but he was not giving up without a fight.

It was a story known by the inhabitants of Konoha, a story of a man that never lost a game. How? Simple. He played dirty all the time. As you guessed this man was The Copy Nin and his title was based on real facts. Poor Sakura … she always chooses the worst kind of man to pick a quarrel with.

Kakashi smirked under his mask, but his eye smiled, giving the other an impression of innocence and pure kindness "Now … Sakura. I was just ironic. I thought you are big enough to handle a little joke. Guess I was wrong"

The pink haired girl blushed then avoided her sensei's gaze looking at nothing in particular. She was so embarrassed, but she didn't understand way. She did nothing wrong, except that she hurried Kakashi in making a decision about the place they will stay at night. But now, for the second time, he expertly fucked her ego … he squashed it under his feet, of course after spitting on it; and he did this with only three words (I didn't mean _I love you_)

"Fucking bastard … You did it again" mumbled Sakura silently, being 100% sure that only Kakashi heard her …

…'_32_' … '_33_' …

… even if he pretended he didn't .

"Ok" finally said the white haired man "I decided" Everyone looked at him puzzled –Yamato was just happy that nothing too drastic happened between the student and her teacher – "We will stay there" and he pointed at a motel that looked more like a bar, but anyway. It was a place with a bed and with food … yummy.

At the entrance there was a huge poster with a landscape, which in his good days was beautiful, but now, the only thing not covered by the graffiti was the sun. On the other side it was a table full of shitty magazines and third rated newspaper. Sakura watched in amazement as a fat woman came and greeted them politely –a little too polite for that kind place-. George paid for the rooms … :d … and for the meal.

At least their host was smart enough to put them in a corner far away from all those drunk people and perverted women. Even so, after they finished their meal, and they were about to order something to drink, an old man, full of wrinkles spotted Sakura. In a second he was up, and in the second one he was at their table.

"Hey … there" said the old man watching Sakura intensely; the subtlety was obviously not his strong point "Would you … damn this table slips … care for a dance"

Naruto and George said at the same time, attracting their friend's attention "No. So fuck off!"

The stranger raised his middle finger, expressing his opinion about their rushed answer. "So, babe, what about that dance" he was now smirking, his face mirroring the fantasies he was just imagining in his head.

"You heard them. Fuck off" Sakura frowned.

"If you don't like to dance, you can give me a private one" He was really out of his league "How much do you take for an hour? 200?"

….

….

'_He thinks I__'__m a …_'

"More? … I'm not a wealthy guy, but I can afford 300"

Now Sakura was pissed off. I mustn't add that she was about to punch the old guy in another dimension, when a tall woman with bigger boobs than Tsunade –I don't know if it's possible- herself lunched at their table directly in George's arms … or more like arm, because he wasn't ready to hug someone, so he was knocked backwards in his seat.

Naruto watched in amazement as the woman rubbed her breasts against their client's face almost suffocating him. Even so, the young actor didn't seem to mind, after all, who would? The man that was harassing Sakura one second ago was now thinking that maybe he should harass someone else, like that breast-full lady.

George was now trying to push the unknown woman aside, because …

"Could you please … mhh … get your breast out of my fa … mmm … I can … t … mhh … breath"

The brunette, she was a brunette, detached her hands, and the rest of her body from the sticky shirt (it was sticky because of the sweat) George was wearing, and continued.

"Ohh … my pumpkin … you look so fuck-able in that white sweaty shirt …"

"Oh … god. I think I'm gonna puke" said Sakura sounding a little bit off, because her right hand was at her mouth keeping her from sharing the menu with her new acquaintance.

Clearly not catching the irony, team 7's new friend smirked while adding "So young … and so pregnant" … in a moment Sakura's nausea disappeared, and an acute feeling of anger replaced it.

"I'm not pregnant" stated the girl with a steady voice that surprised even Kakashi.

"Of course you aren't. I was just playing around"

She even had the gut to smile at the pink haired girl … such a …

Sakura was again about to explode, but Kakashi saw the danger and quickly stepped in; he was used to these kind of things, even if … those breast were abnormally huge "Well … then why have you asked her if she's pregnant?"

The brunette turned around and focused all her attention on her new prey. The Copy Nin was still waiting for an answer, but the young woman was waiting for something else. Sakura saw her intentions, so she did the only thing she could think of.

"So, tell me. Are you an actor like George?"

Sakura hit the jackpot, because immediately the feminine ego kicked in. "Yeah. You could say I'm an actor." An eyebrow was raised "Are you interested in acting?"

Sakura frowned a little, but replied shyly, intending to divert the woman's attention from Kakashi. "Nooo, but if you give me some reason why I should act … I don't see why I shouldn't try." She was playing her new acquaintance like a fiddle, and the poor woman wasn't even realizing what Sakura was really trying to do. In fact, nobody realized exactly the nature of the game Pinky was playing.

"Well …" clearly she was thinking … quite a steamy activity "The only reason I became an actress was because .. I like the sex"

….

"That's all?" asked little naive Sakura, that was still judging that sex equals love; and in this equation acting was not the same as sex (=love). So the logic was blown all the way too moon, along with any hope for out little pink haired friend.

"Of course not!" replied instinctively their breast-full companion.

"I was getting worried, after all …"

But, Sakura wasn't able to finish her sentence, being interrupted by _her_ "There are the money; we have some privileges in the high world –I hope you know what I mean, even if I bet you never met a high-class before- and let's not forget … the sex!"

….

"WOW" snapped Naruto "I wanna become an actor too. It sounds like fun!"

… Sakura punched … Naruto in the wall, posing as a poster … The end.

Sai was now looking at Naruto and Sakura, studying the way they interacted, and predicting their next move. "Come on Sakura …" the white boy smiled "You can't blame Dick-head for wanting to live such a simple life. Just acting, eating and … I would say sex-ing … but it sounds odd."

"I don't know if there is such a thing as: sexing" mumbled Yamato, more for himself, then for the others "There is a group of verbs … ohhh" everyone turned to look at Taicho "Sex is not a verb; it really isn't right to say I sex …"

"It seems right to me" added George

But Yamato wasn't paying any attention, so he continued undisturbed "The word sex is in fact a noun, so an –ing at its end …"

"Why don't we stop from this syntactic analyses of the well known word sex, and go to that sleep we all carve for." Kakashi emphasized the word sex in order to express the laughable situation they were in; I mean, who talks about the etymology of such a ... graphic word?

The actress smirked at the white haired guy; with every passing second she was falling … in sex with him. When she was about to hit on Kakashi and give him another idea about what it was suppose to happen when you go to sleep … and you don't sleep, Sakura asked her:

"And in what kind of movies do you play?" the woman chuckled lightly earning a loud moan from George and little bit of confusion from Sakura "You seem the type of actress that likes drama, but you cannot judge someone only by your own opinion … so?"

George gasped, grabbing the table for support, while his female friend eyed him suspiciously asking him trough glares and chaotic moves of the eyebrows 'what the hell was wrong with him'. Moreover, Sai was really paying attention to this particular discussion, which was strange enough.

"I'm surprised that George was not polite enough to tell you, his companions, in what kind of movies we play. After all this was the way we met and became friends … with benefits."

Kakashi turned his attention from the Green book to the talker, faking the usual laziness displayed in his lone eye, even if curiosity was eating him alive, and something in his gut was telling him that something bad will happen.

George tried to stop his friend from divulging the secret he worked so hard to keep hidden, but destiny had another idea. "Sto …"

"We usually play in porno movies!"

…

…

"Why am I even surprised" said silently Sakura, talking more with herself than with the others "I should have realized this from the second I met him … it was so obvious"

Kakashi sighted, pleased that the _truth_ was at least … simple … and for the Copy Nin it was pleasant as well. He was lucky enough to meet a porn star … ok, a bisexual porn star, that was harassing Sakura and was repeatedly telling him how hot he is.

But then the bomb came:

"What's a porno?"

_To be continued_

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DO you have any idea who was the character that asked the last question …. :d

I don't know when I'll update (I hope it will be soon, but this new learning system is hard enough to keep me busy all day).


	6. Make Sakura snap

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Chapter 6

Step 5: Make Sakura snap

Sakura inner thinking: '_I don't know if you ever met that obvious type of person that seems to know all there is, about her/his loved one, especially that this loved one harbors no feelings for him/her. It's quite usual in this fucked up world, to love someone; the problem comes when this love doesn't run both ways … I was in this situation 6 … no … 5 years ago, when the boy I loved with all the passion I could master, just realized that Konoha wasn't enough for him, so he began to seek power in other places, like Orocimaru. But of course that The Snake Lord wouldn't be enough for the young man either, even if at some point Orocimaru made a huge difference in the ninjutsu possessed by the boy._

_I guess you know that I'm talking about Sasuke … it would be strange if I say that I'm thinking all this reverse psychology while my friend -Sai- just asked the most stupid question ever invented … yeah. Thought so!'_

"What's a porno?"

To be or not to be stupid, this is the question, but in Sai's case this is not an option (uuu I never thought that I'm so good at poetry).

The woman that just divulged the top secret information about her and George's real job, realized that it would be too much of a bother to define a porn, so she made a quick excuse and disappeared rapidly and without a trace. So, that left team 7 and their employer to explain exactly what was a porn movie … yeah … just like you explain to a 5 year old where babies come from, but worse … you know why? … no? … because to a 5 year old you can tell that babies are brought by birds, or any animal you can think of, but to a curious Sai you can't tell that in a porn movie there are people dancing happily in their gardens.

For the first time Naruto was in the seventh sky, 'cause the one that was acting like a total dumb-ass wasn't him … YEY … On the opposite side, Kakashi and Yamato were embarrassed that their student was acting like a total retard … So the only one left to explain what is a porn …

"A porn is a certain type of movie in which the actors are …" Sakura bit her tongue in order to keep the f word from coming out "… sexing … sleeping with each other … live …". Now Sakura was thinking how tired she became from just telling such a simple and stupid explanation.

"Oh …" smiled Sai at the pink ninja "Thank you, Sakura"

"You're welcome … Now could we please go to sleep!"

She was welcomed with 4 nods and a fake smile … life is indeed beautiful.

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"You know" mumbled the porn star "I can sleep with S…"

"NO!" yelled two of the most talented ninja from Konoha "You will not stay in the same room as Sakura." if you are still guessing, I meant Yamato and Naruto.

"ok .." smirked George at his friends "Then I'll sleep with Kakashi"

"NO!" …. Sakura was the only one that screamed at the gay comment, which is in fact quite strange, since Sakura would be so interested in Kakashi's bed-partner only if … I'm babbling again.

Everyone, the Copy Nin included, stared at Sakura for a while, till she bothered to answer their curious looks with a simple "I don't want to hear gay sex tonight, I just want to sleep"

"Ok …" this was George, expressing his annoyance (nobody wanted to sleep with him) "Then I'll sleep with both of you"

…..

…..

"NNNNOOOO!"

The star faked a sight and added willingly "We have 3 rooms, every room has 2 beds … and let's do the math … we have 2+2+2 (or 3x2, it's your choice) = 6 beds, we are 6 human beings …" but he couldn't finish the proposition because …

"Come on … we have 6 heads here; why aren't we capable to distribute 3 rooms to 6 persons"

… Naruto

Sai smirked knowingly and stretched his hands; another sigh of tiredness "Correction: We have 5 heads here … yours doesn't count."

"You littler bas …"

Yamato quickly separated the boys by coming with the best idea … the idea that will change the destiny … fuck, I sound like a TV commercial.

"Why don't we draw lots?"

Kakashi smiled and said "That's a good idea Yamato. Good job!"

Yamato blushed a little, since it was unusual to be complimented by the Copy Nin himself, so every time he was prized by his favorite Sempai it was a reason for celebration. Or this was his opinion, Sakura on the other hand … was not buying it; she knew Kakashi was without a doubt the smoothest talker ever encountered in the Fire Country, but she was reading him like an open book, especially when her sensei was not subtle enough.

"YEH!" yelled Naruto, not paying attention that it was too late (1 AM) to scream from the top of your lungs, in a motel full of sleepy, drunk people, how happy you are that … "I may have a chance to sleep in the same room as Sakura-chan …"

Sakura entered in attack mode "NARUTO! UZUMAKI!" even if, when it came to caring about other people … tired people she was just as helpless as Naruto "YOU ARE THE BIGGEST …"

Kakashi really had it, so he did something that he'll regret later, but in that particular second, it was the only way he could make Sakura shut up. Sorry. For the ones that thought he'll kiss her … I'll disappoint you … Kakashi did the exact opposite of kissing.

He rapidity took an apple from his backpack and stuck the big, round, red and juicy thing exactly in Sakura's mouth, silencing her for the moment.

I repeat: FOR THE MOMENT.

Naruto's eyes opened in surprise, witch led to grabbing Sai by the color of his shirt and dragging him along the corridor, toward one of the rooms they rented. Yamato realized the danger a moment later and did the exact same thing, the only difference was that he took the actor with him ….

On the other hand, Kakashi was studying Sakura's reaction, probably waiting for a punch … or at least an act of violence, something that would define Sakura as the brute she really was. He didn't expect to see tiny drops of salty water rolling down her cheeks, or her hand gently taking the apple out of her mouth, or her little feet rolling on the floor like a bad spirit was possessing her, but what he wasn't expecting at all, were the 3 words she told him with sadness, like they hurt her more than she shown … "I _hate_ you" …

And after this confession she rushed to her room and locked the door. (And Kakashi's room as well)

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In Yamato's room, the actor was peeking through the keyhole.

"Uhhh" he sighted "I cannot see or hear anything …" than he smirked at his room-partner "I bet they are making out … I can imagine Sakura all over Kakashi-san, surrounded by the softest silk, the only material that can rival with her own skin … and he is studying her flesh with his big and curious hands and …"

"You really have some twist fantasies" sniffed Yamato angrily at him; you cannot blame him … the actor was talking about his sempai and his only female student in a way that …

"Is my fantasy turning you on?"

_Bingo_

Yamato chocked "Are you so fucking sick, that you think that every man shares your dirty vision of sex?"

Ubico mumbled something "I may be sick … but at least I'm not a hypocrite"

_Touché_

The young captain gasped, on the verge of throwing all his hidden anger on the movie star, when they heard a loud knock on the door. Totally forgetting his previous discussion, Yamato switched in ninja mode; with his lower body as a shield for Ubico, and his upper body in attack position, Yamato watched as the door cracked opened, a thin tread of light staining the wall. After a second or two the person on the other side squeezed trough and snapped the door shut behind him.

Yamato _off-ed_ in relief

"Sempai?" the man smiled at his favorite ANBU figure "You scared me for a moment"

"Did I?" poor, little, rhetorical question.

Even if he tried to sound convincing and relaxed, his straight answer alarmed Yamato, and even the movie star felt an uneasiness in that fake, happy tone.

"Are you ok, Kakashi-san?" asked Ubico clearly concerned.

"Yeah …" again a vague answer and a strange inner meaning "I'm ok"

Yamato saw right trough the dodging attitude, and since he was such a perceptive guy, he guessed the reason. Even so, the unfinished discussion with the actor still lingered in his mind, like a eczema that you cannot scratch.

"Anyway …" added the Copy Nin "Can I sleep with you tonight?" he scratched the back of his head (a clear sign of misleading … he was laying) "I have a problem with my room's key … and Sakura is asleep …"

"She kicked you out, didn't she?" mumbled Yamato; even if the genius was quite a liar, every time he tried his tricks and jokes with the stoic captain of Team 7, he received the same reactions: annoyingness and sadness.

"Well " he tried to change the subject "You see … I really lost the key, but tomorrow we will leave at 5 AM, so I really need my beauty …" by the look on his friend's face, he was not doing a great job "… sleep, and … you have only one bed … Great!"

"Don't worry Kakashi-san" the actor danced towards the Copy Nin, making it look like a total coincidence "You can sleep with me … in the bed" he was now entering Kakashi's bubble, and his hand was about to touch his palm, when Yamato suddenly asked:

"What about me?" the look on his face was priceless; a little confusion, and at the corner of his eye a slight bent eyebrow that suggested … jealousy. Yeah … Yamato was jealous because the movie star, the porn star, more properly said, was flirting with his sempai … quite strange.

"Don't know. Don't care" it was the only reply he received

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_**Sakura's dream **__(in case you wanna know why is Sakura acting so strange)_

_The pink haired girl was standing on a rock, surrounded by a steady and calm sea; everything about this place suggested peace and quiet, stability and equilibrium. But than the vision, the hateful memory of an assassination and the pain, came all together destroying the beautiful place called Nirvana._

… … …_._

_To love is to hate, to hate is to break … …_

…_.._

"_I slipped my hands, my sweaty palms around his neck and squeezed … I felt the bones crack under my palm and blond dripping from his opened … gaped mouth, screaming for help … I killed … I murdered him …it was by far the most frightening experience … " she was now standing on the edge watching the white waves hit the shore and take a piece of him with them back into the abyss … she watched them take a piece of her "The worst part … is that I don't regret it"_

_Another murderess wave came at her punishing the girl for the lack of sensitivity and the cruel manner in which she described her worst nightmare, her worst memory; the only thing left by this purifying ritual were wet dripping clothes … nothing spend, nothing gained._

_**The end**_

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The next morning, team 7 assembled in the bar's tiny, almost inexistent, hall. Naruto was snoozing happily on Sai's shoulder (it was 5 for god's sake) muttering something about "delicious ramen" and "Sai The First Ass" (nothing new) while his bff (alias for best friend forever) was trying to stop the wet trail of saliva from staining his new black top … who knew Naruto had so much saliva, even if he was constantly lusting after ramen.

Yamato looked like he came after a war with Akatsuki (and the now-forming bruises on his back were the incontestable proof) … that's what you get from sleeping on the floor :d.

Ubico was humming a song, reminding the passing population way voiceless people were not suppose to sing in public, or private … only in soundproof chambers. Kakashi was in his usual lazy and I-don't-give-a-fuck self, which was accompanied by annoyingness towards his bed partner … bisexual bed partner, which couldn't keep his hands in place … no … the place where the little brats (hands) were gravitating were his own pockets.

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/ Flashback /

'I wanna see if you're hiding something in there, Kakashi-san' this was the actor's excuse for the constant harassment.

'I'm hiding my dick … but I guess you already know that'

'Of course I do … that's what I'm looking for' a smirk

'Fuck you' muttered Kakashi

'That's the idea'

/End flashback/

xxxxxx

So, in other words Kakashi wanted to strangle that mother fucker, bisexual porn star.

Sakura looked bored, but just like Yamato, under her eyes could be seen the sign of tiredness, even if this one wasn't form the lack of sleep or from the hard floor used as a mattress.

In conclusion everyone except Ubico was … annoyed.

"Finally" said calmly Yamato "Today we arrive at our destination and … drop the extra luggage"

He earned form the porn star the worst glare he was capable of, which wasn't even coming close to an upset Hinata. Without another word, Kakashi made a slight sign with his head, indicating that they should be on their way. Even if the star was ignorant to the gesture, Sakura wasn't, so she said:

"I think that we should star out trip at 10 o'clock. It's too early, and at this hour every merchant and … robber will be on the main road looking for a chance to _earn_ money illegally or steal" a fade smirk decorated the tired face, making Sakura look kind of dangerous "I think you should know this … Kakashi-_sensei_"

Yamato stared at Sakura, mesmerized by the nerves she had in order to taunt the Copy Nin in such a disgraceful way. After all, the way she just said "sensei" was a clear offense to the fact that he wasn't acting like her sensei. The action indicated quite clear that she was now on the verge of dismissing her sensei, the man that was suppose to be the central pillar of her ninja ways.

"I know this Sakura … But every ninja enemy will think just like you. We shouldn't be afraid of pocket thieves, when the real problem in our case are the other ninjas" he looked at Sakura expectedly "But you should know this … hmm Sakura?"

The tension grew again. If the actor was ignorant a moment ago, now he was on high alert his sensor picking the sparks between the student and the teacher. Naruto was still napping happily on Sai's shoulder, but Yamato was livid, almost as white as Sai with a trace of purple on the edges. He knew what was coming and he also knew that it was no way to stop it.

"Aren't you a smartass …" mumbled Sakura, hoping that her leader will not hear, but guess what … he did.

"I am not a … smartass Sakura, and if you continue this way I'll have you dropped from the mission" the pink haired girl shot him a look of pure hatred "I'm serious" she groaned in pain "So you would better behave"

Sakura was again unhappy by the obvious fact that her sensei was "fucking her ego". For the third time that week he just pissed her off, after screwing with the little sanity she had left. That assassination was tearing her apart one by one, and Kakashi wasn't helping at all. As a matter of fact, his _helping_ was worsening the situation: first by reminding her of the loneliness experienced in her new apartment, then by squashing her dignity not once, not twice, but three times in front of her closest friends … and the climax was when he … made her hate him.

She watched the way he stood … The all mighty Copy Ninja, the pride of Konoha was mocking her, unintentionally, with his always lazy, yet straight pose, with the wind ravishing his white anti-gravitational hair, reminding her that he was too powerful for her to handle.

Every particle of his being was screaming confidence, and a sweet taste of self control. He was a beautiful specimen of the male kind, and for one second Sakura was lost in the perfect portrait of her sensei … just for a fraction, because in the next one, her senses spiked like burned, but the instinct took over …

" 'uck 'ourself" mumbled the girl between her clenched teeth.

"What?" asked Kakashi not believing what he just heard; she forgot some letters in her throat, so it could be misunderstood for: puck…

"I told you … that your majesty The Copy Ninja of Konoha can go and fuck himself in the public toilet … " a deep silence embraced the group. At least Naruto was sleeping, or they would never hear the end of this "And you can take that gay porn actor with you"

The world froze for the Konoha ninjas. Kakashi still had problems with the understatement of the statement said by his own pupil.

"What the hell happened to you Skaura!" screamed Sai. For the second, maybe third time during that mission, Sai lost his cool completely. Even he felt the pressure in the air and the destructive sensation coming from the pink haired girl. "You act like you lost your freaking mind"

Sakura was just as stirred as before "You little …." she never got the chance to finish, since a hand grabbed her arm with brute force and said calmly, a calm inadequate for the volcanic situation.

"Go home Sakura .. We will see what happens when we'll be back in Konoha" something in his voice warned danger, like a knife ready to strike, to kill. Sakura was a walking bomb, and her _sensei was the remote control._

"_Little piece of Hatake shit" the venom in her voice spread in the Copy Nin's blood system spreading like a disease, ready to destroy every living cell and tissue "Take your hand off me" it was a clear threat "now"._

_Kakashi slowly let go, which concluded in Sakura dashing with a abnormal speed towards the only available exit._

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxx_

_Sorry for the late update, but I have a problem in my life, that occupies 60% of my time (40% is for sleeping) and this problem is called school. _

_I dunno when the next update will be. I'm working now at a Grimmjow Karin fanfic, but I plan on finishing this one(my schedule says that I'll finish it this summer …. My schedule is an optimist one)_


End file.
